My friendship with Sarah has degraded terribly over the past year. Living with her has opened my eyes to a part of her life I probably would have never seen otherwise. She is an alcoholic and suffers from a lot of emotional/insecurity issues. On the outside she portrays herself as a very in control, responsible person but on the inside she’s one of the most immature people I’ve ever met. From events that have unfolded over the past year, I have lost all respect for her and I have no desire to keep our friendship going. I care a great deal about her and I want the best for her, but I don’t want to stick around for it. She has been incredibly selfish, hurtful, and insulting to me to the point where I can’t see any part of her that I enjoy anymore.
Most recently, I stayed in Raleigh for a week and a half and during my stay, I made plans with Sarah’s dad, Howie. I completely adore Howie. Being that I’ve never had a dad, grandpa, or positive family relationship with any male figure, I really value my friendship with Howie. Over the course of mine and Sarah’s friendship, I really bonded with her family and moreso with her dad. She often encouraged me to “adopt” her family as mine, given that I lack a supportive, positive family of my own. She has included me in many family events and really made me feel welcome in that area of her life. When Sarah and I began to have issues, I noticed she began trying to distance me from her family. She mistakenly thought that if she refrained from including me in family activities that my bond with her family would cease to exist. My bond with her family no longer was maintained through Sarah, I had a bond on my own, where I didn’t need Sarah to play messenger between me and them. So back to my recent Raleigh visit. I saw he was online on facebook, and given that I knew he is generally a night owl, I sent him a last minute text to ask if he was free for lunch the following day as a friend and I would be in his hometown. I hadn’t seen him in months and the last visit to Wilmington he made, I was working and unable to really spend any time with him. He agreed and we met for lunch the next day. As I arrived to the restaurant, Sarah sends me a text conveying her disapproval of me making plans with her family without notifying her first. I responded caringly, since she communicated her feelings without being rude. After I explained how plans were made last minute and therefore it wasn’t convenient to mention it to her, she commented that she thought it was weird that I sent him a text late at night. Later on, when I returned home from my Raleigh trip and Sarah and I went out with some friends, she brought the subject up again and said that she spent an hour convincing her mom that I wasn’t pursuing Howie out of attraction. Are you fucking kidding me? One, I’m positive her mom never had an issue and probably doesn’t even know how the lunch plans were made. Two, the fact that Sarah eluded to the fact that it was “weird” timing, is incredibly insulting. Three, the fact that she’s using her jealousy as an opportunity to somehow put me down is even more insulting.
I’m just done with her. She’s way too fucked up in the head to even try to be a friend to her. For my own mental health, I just can’t be a part of her life anymore.